Fifth Stallaversary...

Today marks the huge milestone of five years in my little stall. From humble beginnings with a little bit of stock in a tiny corner of my counter, to the point now where I have very little room for anything new, this stall has been my world for the last five years. I have made friends, had more neighbours than I can remember, and lost and found my creativity more times than I can count. I've seen so much change, both inside and outside my stall. I've had so many good times, and some pretty rough ones too, but this little place will always be in my heart. 

I will be closing my stall doors (ok, putting up wooden shutters)for the last time on Christmas Eve. The decision has not been an easy one, in fact there have been sleepless nights and moments of terrible uncertainty, but the time has come to think about the future, where I want to be in another five years, and to be honest, I don't see myself making progress if I stay here. I need flexibility to take my work out into the world, and structured opening hours just won't allow that. And I need new eyes to see my work, because I just can't keep waiting. 

There are people I will miss. I will miss my little stall and all of it's quirks. I will miss the familiar faces that pass by every single market day, hearing about their families, the relief when I see them again after unusual absences. I will miss the stories. I will miss the gossip. I will miss visitors - the dear sweet lady that brings me a mice pie every Christmas, the Christmas cards and well-wishes. So much to miss. 

I make it sound like it's perfect. It's not. But the things I will miss will outweigh the bad stuff. I hope I will always think fondly of this place - the first home of gemmipop designs, my first toe in the pond of self-employment and the place that has given me the confidence to try. 

Little Lessons

My favourite part of being a full-time crafter is sharing skills with lovely people. I know I've said it before, but I get so much from seeing people start their crochet adventure. 

I had a visit from Sharon on Wednesday, she came along to try out some new stitches, we had a go at crocheting rows, and varying with front and back loops, and we did a mitred square. 

Rita came popped up with her lovely daughter Jess, and we went over granny squares, then onto Sunburst squares. They are both naturals!

I was thrilled to hear that they'd spent the afternoon practising...

And on Saturday Tarloke visited for a beginner lesson, and made his very first square. 

 The days fly by when I have such lovely company. 

My Week...

Goodness, how the time flies and I am here sharing my week again. I had little taste if life as a nomadic-crafter at the weekend, selling my wares outdoors for the Oswestry Food and Drink Festival, where I chatted to lots of lovely folks and enjoyed breathing in some fresh air. 

My crafty week has involved talking my mum through Kitchener Stitch to finish a pair of cosy chunky socks, and a lot of crochet on my part, working on a blanket that will be made of very big squares. The plan was to use a white round between colours to help break them up and attempt to stifle my OCD about blending colours. So far it has worked well and helped my unsettled mood by giving me something to work on - I like that about craftiness, the duel purpose of distraction and productiveness. The highlights of my week were the purchase of a clear vinyl Kenickie 7" single, and going along to Manchester to see Korn, one of my teenage obsessions. They were pretty good I would say. 

The week ahead will be a long one, but the summer holidays bring the opportunity for adventure, and as always I will grab that opportunity with both hands. 

Thoughts on Being 30 (and a half)

Today is my half-birthday. I am Thirty-and-a-Half and I've been doing some thinking about the whole "being thirty" thing. Now, I can't say that reaching this particular milestone was terribly bothersome to me - twenty-seven was rather more unsettling and I have no clue in my head as to why that was, but thirty was just fine. But I've been thinking about life, and how things change, and how I've changed over the years and I thought I would share some of my conclusions...

I've decided that I'm messy, and I'm busy, and really I'd rather be crocheting than tidying.

I have fewer friends now than I've ever had, because not so long ago it became apparent that fair-weather friends aren't worth the energy, and so there are less friends, but they are good friends. They are the people that know me best, that I could share anything with, that I would do anything for. I love my friends, they are the best! I make an effort to spend as much time as I can with my family, I love them very much, and after living away for so long I make the most of the time I have with them. My life is sweeter for having my friends and family in it.

I am finally reaching a point where I am happy in my own skin. I like my short hair, and I wear what I want, and I love bright coloured clothes and pretty prints and sweet little shoes, and I love big clunky Dr Marten boots, and some days I love Kawaii cuteness and my little pink basket and everything has to be pink, and other days I love Granny florals and my knitting bag and dainty little teacups. Some days I want to go on adventures, and some days I want to hibernate. And that's just fine. It's taken a long time to get here. 

My life as a full-time crafter is a happy one. I don't earn nearly as much as I did working in retail management, but my goodness, I hated working in retail, and I love what I do now. I make my own schedule, I work harder than ever but I have flexibility and I am so proud of my sweet little shop. I wish I could keep a sketchbook more consistently, and I wish I was a little braver at knitting, but I love my little brightly coloured shop, and all of the quirks of being self-employed. 

I must confess that I don't always find life easy, I still don't feel like a grown up, and sometimes I wonder how other people make life look so easy, and seem so capable, and yet I feel so awkward all the time. Of course, I'm sure to other people I seem utterly confident and capable and they probably feel just as awkward as I do on the inside, but still, some days it's really not easy. I watched a Ted Talk recently about how to "fake it 'till you make it" (I've only just discovered Ted Talks and they're really rather interesting, as usual I'm a bit late to the party...) and it really made sense, to keep coming across as confident until eventually you become it... I'm still waiting for it to happen, but the nice lady assures me it will. 

There are lots of things that make me happy - cats, tea, flowers, art galleries, knitting and crochet, cake, silly tv shows, cardigans, old movies, notebooks, pretty jewellery, buttons, taking photographs, reading lots of books, floral fabric, walking in the countryside, going to see my favourite bands, letters, the Harry Potter Studio Tour, vinyl, the seaside, London, museums, charity shopping, vintage brooches, cassettes, my favourite songs, pretty clothes, vintage toys, visiting new places, my garden, art books, home. All of these things are part of what makes me who I am. 

Patrick Caulfield - "Vases of Flowers" 1962 

If you've made it here, to the end of my rambling then thank you, I'm not sure if any of it means anything or is of any value or consequence to anyone but me, but I wanted to share anyway, if only to get thoughts out of my head.